In keeping with my new years resolution I am trying to think of SOMETHING to write today.
First off, I have found an anime that is FANTASTIC.
Sadly, Netflix.com only has the first season of said anime, so now I am going to have to find another source to feed my addiction.
The anime is called High School of the Dead, and is about a zombie outbreak
Because zombie outbreak movies are AWESOME!
And these kids are surviving.
I won't lie, there are tits and ass involved in said anime, along with implied sex, which makes the main character look like a bit of a man whore.
But whatever.
On the PERSONAL FRONT, I am getting on with my job search tomorrow, hitting up several different restaurants about waitressing jobs.
I am feeling positively optimistic about the whole thing.
Other than that, not much is going on in my life. Just living day by day.
I am quitting smoking.
Cigarettes that is.
And of course out of respect for my Aunt I won't smoke any Jolly Green Giant while living under her roof.
But again. That's about all that's going on in my life.
Wish me luck on my job hunt tomorrow! Thanks. :)
So today I moved out of my friends' house and back in with my family.
I couldn't stand working at a strip club anymore, it was degrading and made me hate myself.
What ended up happening is this:
Last night, my now ex roomate and her boyfriend got into another argument, but for the first time the boyfriend turned his anger towards me. I stayed calm when he did, and he left fairly quickly after that. I then called my mother, who is WAY more like an older sister than my mom, and told her what was going on. I also told her how I hated where I was working, and that I wanted out of that life. She then told me to call my Aunt, who is the closest thing to a motherly figure I have. Ever since I started working at the club it has torn me up that I couldn't tell her anything that was going on in my life. It killed me to have to lie to her, so instead, I pretty much ignored her. Well last night I finally called her. I broke down, crying, telling her everything. I told her how sorry I am for lying to her, and how I hated my job. She cried a little as well, and told me how she didn't condone that I had lied to her or that I was working at a strip club, BUT that if I really truly wanted to get out of that she would help me. I cried some more, and thanked her, and we made plans for her to come get me today.
It wasn't all good though. In choosing to leave, I really hurt my friend/roomate, as well as a couple other people. Because it was so sudden, I didn't even say goodbye to a lot of people I was very close to.
But now I am home. It feels so wonderful to be around family that I know loves me, even if we differ in opinion on a lot of things. I am somewhere I know I am safe, and cared for.
And now I am tearing up.
So I will go now, and get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a BRIGHT new day. :)
Hey everyone!
I am moved in to my new home, and even though I don't have a bed right now it is comfortable.
If you want to check it out are pictures at the bottom of this post. :)
In my search through the interwebs to find some more interesting sites/bands/comics/etc. I have found a new site that if you don't already know about it you will LOVE.
The site is stereomood.com.
If you couldn't tell by the name alone I will explain.
Simply go to the site, sign in with Facebook or one of the other social sites that it supports, and then type in how you're feeling.
If there is not already a perfect match to your mood, it can show you similar moods that might even fit how you're feeling better than you knew how to say.
It is a progressive, proactive site that let's you put in your own input on how a song makes you feel so as to enhance other stations, much in the same way as Pandora, but instead of finding just similar artist, it find specific songs that more suit your mood than just taste in music.
Seriously though, you should check it out.
On the side of my life that is work, I can say that life at the club has been somewhat the same.
Well except for my reluctant ex-boyfriend who just doesn't seem to want to let go.
Just tonight he got a dance from me.
As if that wouldn't be awkward enough.
He then proceeds to try and act like this is completely normal.
It was really fucking weird.
My roomate also got a little upset last night about a lot of different things.
We ended up just coming home and smoking and watching a zombie movie.
The name of the movie was Diary of The Dead. Awesome flick, definitely worth checking out if you're a fan of that kind of thing.
Other than that, Life has just been that.
Life.
Let's see what tomorrow throws at me. :)
So, I am in the process of moving.
AGAIN.
Just went through a break up that feels more liberating than anything, even though the ex is definitely still trying to keep tabs on me.
I have most of my things at my new home, but I don't have a room yet. The previous roomates stopped paying rent and made the place DISGUSTING, and they are refusing to move their stuff out until they see an eviction notice. That means that until we either get them to come back and get their stuff, or we finally fight our gag reflexes long enough to throw it all out, I'm stuck on the couch.
Because my new roomie has cats, and one of them likes to spray still, all of my things are currently in her closet.
Yay.
But it'll all be okay. I'm getting my feet under me, and becoming more and more self sufficient.
Now I just need to get a licence.
An update on the interweb exploration front tells me that any of you who actually reads my everyday, nonsensical babble might like the web comic "Go Get A Roomie".
gogetaroomie.com
^The URL for said web comic is right hurr.^
The comic itself is a little ways out there, with a lot of different things playing into it. It isn't all that long yet, but it has so much potential. The artist/writer is even trying to get it published, running a fundraiser to try and get the first copy up and off the ground.
They don't know I'm writing this here, so don't think this is some kind of scam, I just really and truly enjoy the comic, and I think some of you might to.
I finally went back to work a couple of days ago. It's really not that great.
I just can't wait to be able to get another job at this point so I won't have to work at the club as much. That would be awesome.
Also, there's this guy.
He's a lot older than I am, but even when we first started talking, we clicked.
Now I'm not about to rush into ANY kind of relationship with anyone at this point in my life, but I do kind of like this guy.
I will keep who ever is reading this posted.
On yet another side of my life, I'm working more on my music.
I have a couple of songs on YouTube, but the quality is extremely crappy, so I won't tell you how to find them yet.
Once I get some better audio and video though, I will let you know where they are.
It would actually mean a lot to me for some of you, who ever you are, to check it out.
Music is my true passion, and though I may be working in less than stellar conditions right now, I want to give my music a real chance.
Wish me luck maybe?
Thanks.
http://www.myspace.com/shellyavenue
You NEED to go to this link and listen to the music.
The songs are absolutely amazing, and they are done by a few friends of mine.
They haven't collaborated in a while but their music was wonderful, and I love it.
I still have the first CD they put together and listen to it regularly.
Please check out their MySpace page, their music deserves to be heard.
That's all I wanted to say for today, Thanks guys!
I am sorry. It's been so long since I've posted, but who really gives a damn what's going on in my life? I'm just an 18 year old girl.
But it's the new year, and whether people actually care what I think or feel is irrelevant to the fact that I want to keep this blog.
I want to keep it like I would a diary I guess. Sometimes posting things other than text maybe?
Well, Happy New Year.
Here is something I found that I love, maybe the few people who read this might like it too?
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/i-didnt-think-about-you-once-today/
As I was reading this I kept thinking of people I really care about, whether we talk at this point in my life or not.
One person more than others. One who I still haven't had the ability to say I haven't thought about once in a day.
What does it matter though. He hates me now.
Even though he was once my dearest friend.
On a brighter note, I brought in the new year well. A small party with a bottle of Jack and some different varieties of the good green stuff.
It was fun. Watching the ball drop next to my wonderful boyfriend. A kiss when midnight hit.
The whole shibang if you will.
Coming home and going to bed.
Nothing special.
But this year, maybe I should make some true resolutions. I guess it's time for a list then.
1. Do better about this blog, specifically by posting at least once a week.
2. Find a better job than the one I have now. (Just FYI I am currently a stripper)Do this within the next 2 months.
3. Get my own place by June.
4. Practice on my guitar for at least 5 hours a week.
6. Make a CD of songs I've written and write more. Then send that CD as a Demo to as many music labels as possible that would play the music I write.
7. Read at least 1 novel a month.
8. Hold to this list.
I want to get better. I want to be better. I want to move myself forward in my life and get to the point where I am once again happy with who I am.
I'm tired of being tired of being me. Of spending everyday the same as the last.
I want to enjoy life again. Maybe start running again. Play more music, draw more, and let myself be as artistic as my mind will allow.
I want to become me again, not this shell of who I thought I could be.
